The study, conducted over 9 days, during which the subject was given a nebulizer twice a day and allowed to watch Elmo during the treatment, returned conclusive evidence that television is a cuteness-destroying agent.

Further research corroborates the connection between wanting to watch “Up and Down” and “Dinosaurs,” with decreased appetite and an increase in loafing on the couch at dinner time trying to make the TV come on.

A recent control, in which the medicine was administered without TV, showed no ill effects, and decreased TV-related whining by 100%.